the rain won't go away
by withabluepen
Summary: One rainy night, Rin is forced to relive his worst nightmares. Except, this time, his father has decided that his brother would be the crucial piece to their cruel game of fate.
1. rainy skies

"Yukio, what the hell?!"

Rin's eyes burned with blue flames, flickering erratically. He gripped his sword tightly as he parred another bullet that came his way. Yukio merely responded with an uncharacteristically cruel and slightly maniacal grin that sent shivers down his spine.

What was wrong with him? Rin knew their brotherly relationship was rocky on some edges, and maybe he liked to piss off his brother more than the norm, but Yukio never went as far as trying to _kill_ him wholeheartedly.

(Well, maybe except for that one time when he trashed his brother's guns in some unknown room of the Academy; the outcome of that particular incident hadn't been pretty, but hey, at least he made it out alive. Also, his brother was a little too serious for his own good.)

Rin winced as another bullet just barely grazed his skin; had he not tilted his head, that bullet would've planted itself into his skull. Dodging Yukio's attacks, he made his way closer to the latter, enveloping himself and Kurikara with azure flames. Rin suppressed the urge to unleash any more of his flames; he didn't want to lose control and unintentionally hurt Yukio.

When the fight started, there was something that nagged him to no end, and he was slowly realizing what it was.

Something about Yukio was out of place: the horns and tail were pretty obvious, along with accentuated demonic features, but it was Yukio's eyes that bothered him the most. Instead of the deep blue that they both shared, his eyes were filled with blood red, as if they were bleeding.

A terrible, terrible nostalgia filled his mind as snippets of _his_ death flashed before his eyes.

Rin narrowed his eyes; he concluded that the redness of Yukio's eyes came from the blood that was trickling down his forehead. His brother was bleeding everywhere on his body, soaking his uniform with red. It was barely noticeable on the dark cloth, unlike his face, which looked like someone had dumped a bucket of red paint on him.

Inside the sea of blood, a faint spark of blue flame flickered, dancing, as if taunting him. Rin widened his eyes, his stomach dropping. One by one, his suspicions were being confirmed. Those cursed, violent blue flames could only mean one thing: Satan, his father. _Their_ father.

Rin's face twisted in fury, the flames in his irises flaring aggressively. He growled angrily, pointing his sword at the figure before him.

"Satan, you damn bastard, I won't forgive you!" He threatened, eyes flashing dangerously.

 _"How sweet of you, ignorant son of mine,"_ Satan cooed, curling his - Yukio's - lip, forming a sickeningly sweet smile. Rin grit his teeth, not even bothering to hide his seeping hatred for the King of Hell.

"Shut up!" Rin raced forward, thrusting his sword towards Yukio's figure. For a split second, he faltered, eyes tracing over his brother's features. Before he could blink, his arm exploded in a fiery pain. Gasping from shock, he stumbled before his knees gave way. He fell to the ground, clutching his arm.

 _"It hurts, doesn't it?"_ Satan cackled, dropping one of Yukio's guns onto the grass. He marveled his hands, soaked in blood. _"I infused my flames with Yukio's bullets so they would burn right through your flesh!"_

Rin groaned in agony, feebly raising his head to throw Satan a defiant glare.

"I won't let you kill Yukio!" He spat weakly, fingers shaking as they reached for his sword. Satan stepped over to where Rin had fallen, kicking Kurikara out of his reach.

 _"Foolish boy, you think you can stop me?"_ Satan threw his head back in laughter, his body shaking. _"You are merely a weakling who acts like a pathetic human!"_

Pointing Yukio's other gun lazily at Rin's figure, Satan tightened his finger around the trigger. He smiled wickedly as he watched the bullet bury itself into Rin's abdomen, his body convulsing in pain as it did.

 _"Goodbye, useless son of mine,"_ Satan drawled, before disappearing with Yukio's body in large burst of blue flames, illuminating the night.

And then the rain fell, first a little drizzle, before steadily becoming heavier.

Even so, it could not wash away Rin's shame and frustration. He was stubborn; Rin knew it himself, and he lived up to it. But, he couldn't help but succumb to the comforting darkness that slowly wrapped him up.

Later that night, Shiemi let out a terrified squeak when she found Rin lying in a pool of blood during her late night walk, after the rain had stopped. She quickly rushed him to the infirmary, struggling along the way as she carried him in her arms. After he had been safely delivered to the hands of the nurses, Shiemi let out a sigh of relief before collapsing onto the ground in fatigue.

A few days later, she began to realize that Yukio's absence was not simply a short "vacation".

A few days later, the nurses told her that Rin had been crying in his sleep.


	2. cloudy, with a chance of showers

If only Rin had noticed earlier, perhaps he could've done something to prevent what happened on the day it rained. Older brothers were meant to look out for their younger brother- that was a norm that the both of them never seemed to follow. Sure, he protected Yukio from numerous bullies from when they were younger, but it had only been a short amount of time before Yukio was able to handle them himself.

He had relished those times when his weak, cowardly younger brother needed his help; after all, the old man had encouraged them to stand up for what they thought was right (although he discouraged Rin's methods of carrying out justice).

Perhaps it was because Yukio would always give him a watery thanks and big, toothy smile that seemed to light up the whole world whenever he came to the rescue.

After Yukio had left for and stayed at the Academy, his little brother no longer expressed his emotions as he did before: openly, shyly, and freely. It was as if he had tucked them away somewhere, in a place Rin didn't know about. Yukio had grown out of his younger self and didn't need him to look out for him anymore.

In fact, it was always Yukio who scolded Rin about his sloppy posture and disheveled appearance; it was always Yukio who lectured on about his unruly behavior and how he should be respectful to his peers (but that one kid back then was _really_ asking for it). On his fifteenth birthday, it was Yukio that showed up at the doorway of his dorm, a frosted chocolate cake in hand.

Even though his brother ignored him during class and didn't treat him as nicely as he did before, he still remembered that Rin absolutely _adored_ chocolate cake.

It had been quiet in the halls during that time of the day, since his classmates usually went outside for fresh air after a grueling day of long lectures and tedious classwork. Rin had planned on buying himself a small cupcake from the Academy's kitchens (it was one of the slightly more affordable foods there) and spending the rest of the day alone.

After all, nobody wanted to celebrate the day the son of the devil was born.

As the minutes dragged on, the silence was suddenly broken by the sound of a door swinging open. Rin had looked up quickly, feeling hopeful that someone had come to congratulate him. Typically, his expectations would be crushed, and he would move on to stare aimlessly at the ceiling, heart heavy with disappointment.

But that time, his hopes had been answered.

Yukio hung around as he watched Rin scarf down the cake, as though if he hadn't eaten lunch three hours ago (which, to Yukio, shouldn't make any person hungry to _that_ degree). Knowing that his brother was a messy eater, he had prepared tissues beforehand to deal with any miscellaneous crumbs that would tumble out from his brother's lips. There was hasty mutters of thanks and sheepish grins as the afternoon flew by. They were both happily unaware of the passing time until the sun began to slip back behind the distant hills.

When he thought back, those memories were the sweetest as could be. Almost like hot chocolate, lazy and warm- they were simply idyllic, and almost like a hazy dream.

When was it that Yukio started straying from his path?

His brother started acting more distant one day, as though if he was constantly occupied by something. Rin was hesitant to ask him, thinking that Yukio would find him to be too nosy. He usually wasn't one to think too much about what he said, but he had been a little conscious of his behavior towards others after he had offended a girl by making an innocent comment about her hair (what was wrong about having cotton candy hair anyway? how _sweet_ would that be?).

Now, he regretted not asking when he had the chance. Rin should've shoved all his insecure thoughts away and blurted out his worries like he usually did, not caring about the consequences. Even if he didn't get the response he wanted, he would've been much closer to knowing what had made his little brother into _that_.

Every night, when he slept alone in his dorm- _their_ dorm-, he could still feel the cold dread curling in his stomach on the day it rained. It chilled him to his very bones and made him question his very morals: why had he not grabbed the hand of his last, remaining family before they slipped away from him?

And when he reaches no other answer other than his cowardice, Rin finds himself blaming his father, for why had he born two sons, one a weakling and another a fool?

(Deep inside, he knows that he's the only one to blame.)

Some days, when he can't fall asleep, Rin finds himself wandering to the place where the fought. Laying down on the prickly grass, he'll stare up at the star-spattered sky, the cold darkness wrapping its arms gently around him. It was times like those when Rin wished that Yukio could be next to him, gazing up at the same stellar, breathtaking beauty that he often found himself getting lost in.

It was nights like those when he truly understood how small he was, and how bitter loneliness could be.


End file.
